My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize