Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
