Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
