Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
