i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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