I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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