its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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