So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
