Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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