Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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