he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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