Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
