Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
