Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
