OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No more Irish car bombs ever.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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