He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
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All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Your cock deserves a montage
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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