you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
