...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
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I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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