it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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