we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
