i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
