I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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