i don't like sucking hair
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
