Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
How external is "for external use only"?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
