One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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