Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she smelled like a LAN party
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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