drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
