Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
