So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
