someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
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I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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