how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
