i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
