Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
