he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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