Porn is love you can see.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize