but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
