We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
