Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
