I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
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