i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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