bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
