Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
