I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
