i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
