i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
