How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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