Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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