When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
