They should really pass out barf bags in church
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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