I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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