so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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