U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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