I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
