I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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