Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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