literally had 100 drinks last night.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
