Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'm really busy with my period
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