don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
True strength comes from lack of pants
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
