Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
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Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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