And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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