She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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