when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i used baking grease as lip gloss
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Couch. On fire.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
