the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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