That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
