wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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