Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
