Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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