I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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