summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
