Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
