I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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