I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
